this blog is not helping me lose weight

The title says it all. I have a blog that is moderately popular thus far, and I love attention, so I am immediately more motivated to cook than I have been in forever. For the record, hubby and I are still eating apple cake and jambalaya. My biggest problem so far has been that there are only two of us, so we usually eat on any given dish for two or three days. I’m recruiting some friends to cook my recipes and send me pictures, so that should help.

Some of you may remember that Saturday we got home later than I wanted to cook from scratch, and we had Hamburger Helper. I’m not always health-conscious, but when I am I apparently make butter and sugar covered side dishes. Healthy, because it’s still a vegetable deep down. And it’s what’s inside that counts, right?

Now, the most time-consuming part of this dish is chopping carrots. And it’s not even chopping. It’s just halving baby carrots. But I usually cook a full bag of them, and that takes a bit because there are so damn many of the little bastards.

it’s like they’re laughing at me

I won’t even lie, Hamburger Helper is about as good as anything I know how to make. Like, I know it’s bad for you and probably packed with MSG and weird chemicals (how else do they make cheese into a powder?), but come on. It’s fast, it’s easy, and it’s fucking delicious.

My inner fat kid is showing.

Just so you guys know, I totally intend to do a whole series of “Jules’s Pro Tips” which are not really pro tips at all, but rather just things I’ve learned while cooking over the years. For instance:

  • Don’t use olive oil to season your skillets. It makes things taste weirdly sweet.
  • If you need to thicken a potato-based soup, keeps some instant mashed potatoes on hand. Thickens right up, and doesn’t change the flavor.
  • Same goes for tomato pasta sauces, but use italian style breadcrumbs.

And so on and so forth. So while my friends divvy up my list of recipes betwixt them (I love the word betwixt), I will present you with the glory that is (are?) these glazed carrots. Make them for Thanksgiving and impress your snotty relatives.

mmmm buttery

420 Glaze-It Carrots


  • Like a whole bag o’ them baby carrots, yo
  • About a tablespoon of butter. U can use margarine but I probs would not suggest it
  • But like, be generous with that tablespoon, okay
  • A couple of spoonfuls of brown sugar. Just eyeball it. I believe in you.
  • A dash of salt. Or, if you’re like me, a generous sprinkling.
  • A couple dashes of tarragon leafs
  1. Legit this is one of the easiest side dishes to make. I like to just slice the baby carrots in half length-ways if they’re thick, or leave them whole if they’re thin.
  2. ANYWAYS slice up them carrots any way you please. It don’t really matter.
  3. If u have a steamer basket, throw those bad boys in there. If not, they’re like 97 cents at walmart what are you doing? But u can always just plop them in some water and boil them for like….10 minutes? Ish? Till they’re soft enough to poke with a fork, but not too soft.
  4. Steam or boil ur lil carrot nugs till they’re a nice crisp al dente (that means not f*cking mushy, you nasties)
  5. Dump your water out and return the little carrots to the pan. Toss in ur butter, brown sugar, salt, and tarragon. Tbh I didn’t have any tarragon, so I used thyme and they were still hella tasty.
  6. Simmer all that goodness till it makes a nice saucy sauce on ur carrots. Eat those bad boys as a side dish for just about anything.

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