Calories don’t exist on weekends.


From the above gifs, you may have figured out what this blog post is about. No, it was not warm enough to grill out this weekend, although it did get to a whopping 75 degrees in my apartment (with the oven on). Well, I actually ate reasonably healthy all last week, and I had mom coming over on Friday, so my inner-fat-kid demanded cheeseburger soup.

If you’ve never had cheeseburger soup, lemme tell you…it’s the shit. The recipe I use actually calls for bacon, but I decided to deviate a bit and save some calories. Technically, I deviated a lot because I didn’t add any beef. My hubby hunts every year, so we have a freezer stocked with fresh ground venison, and damned if it doesn’t work for most everything that calls for beef. Not tacos though, tacos need grease.

My favorite thing about this recipe is that it calls for carrots and celery, like it’s gonna pretend to be healthy, but not enough of them to change the flavor at all.

Because it’s really the perception of nutrition that matters. Calories don’t exist on the weekend, after all. Idk, it’s science, apparently.

Also I was cooking and cleaning house and shit so I forgot to take many pictures. I am certain you can figure this one out on your own, though.

Look though, green! And orange! It’s like it’s pretending to be healthy.

Oh and also, I had a REALLY bad time with the prepping of vegetables this time around, and Idk why??? Just an off night in the kitchen. I gave myself a bad hangnail that bled earlier in the day, so I was already wearing a bandaid, and then I sliced into my thumb in one place and tried to peel off a fingernail???

Dinner served with a side of Jules

I also managed to forget the sour cream, and had to stir it in after the fact. The fact being that I’d already had a bowl.

New Baconings Burger
(Now with No Bacon)


  • 1 (HAH) pound of ground beef, or whatever
  • 1 pound cooked bacon, crumbled*
  • About 2 big shredded carrots. Be careful during the shredding.
  • The same amount of chopped celery. The recipe says ¾ of a cup but Idk just eyeball it
  • 1 whole chopped onion
  • 1 tsp dried basil
  • 1 tsp dried parsley
  • 4 tbsp of butter
  • 1 carton of chickin broth
  • 4-6 peeled & diced taters
  • ¼ cup-o-flour
  • 2 cups shredded cheddar cheeeeeze
  • 1 cup milk
  • ½ cup heavy whooping cream
  • A hearty dash of salt
  • Pepper to taste
  • ¼ cup of sour cream**
  1. Brown yo ground beef (or whatever), and drain it and set aside if need be. If you’re like me, you don’t feel like doing that so you just skip straight to the next step.
  2. WHICH IS take and toss yo veggies in that saucepan, along with the parsley and basil and shit.
  3. WHEN them veggies are tender, throw ya taters and chickin broth in that pan. If the broth don’t cover everything, add some more. This is why I buy cartons by the 6 pack. Bring all that shit to a boil and then reduce to a simmer. Give it about 10-12 minutes, till the taters are soft.
  4. In a small skillet! Melt ya butter, and toss that flour in there, then stir till it’s all bubbly and starting to brown. Add that shit to ya soup and stir for a couple minutes.
  5. Turn yo heat down to low.
  6. Stir in the cheese, milk, heavy cream, salt and pepper. Cook and stir it all up till the cheese is melted.
  7. Add sour cream, and give it one last stir till it’s all incorporated. Don’t forget it, or your soup will taste flat.
  8. If you’re including bacon, now would be the time to add it into your soup as well.

*Optional, if you’re trying not to die of heart disease. Quitter.



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