Recipes

I’m Going To Have a Sodium-Induced Heart Attack…

… Because I have a sinus/ear/upper respiratory infection, and I cannot taste anything. Like, at all, really. Sweet, sour, and spicy are the three flavors that are coming through, but everything else is right out. So I keep adding fucktons of salt to my food, lol.

After last week’s run-in with strep throat, I improved rapidly but James remained ill for a few days. Just didn’t feel real good, coughing, drainage, etc. General crud, as we like to say.

salute
we also do that every time

But no, as it turns out he was downplaying how shitty he felt, and if I’d known he was THAT ill, we would have kept our asses home. Anyway, now I’ve got the stupid crap, and my tastebuds are shot to hell.

Normally, for infections, stomach problems, etc, I suggest chicken noodle soup. Well, considering that I can’t taste anything except drainage (mmmm phlegm), I needed soup with a bit more punch. Enter: chicken tortilla soup.

Now, I’ve seen about a dozen different variations of chicken tortilla soup, including one with flour tortillas cooked into the soup. That is basically just Mexican chicken and dumplings, and those people should reevaluate their life choices. Mine is spicy, and brothy, and has a little tang(lol). Plus you sprinkle fried tortilla strips (or corn chips) on top. What’s not to love?

It’s also probably one of the easiest soups to make, since there aren’t any noodles or required side items to make, you just throw shit in a pot and wait.

Because I’ve been sick, I did not bother taking pictures of the process of making it. Also because the only “process” would be dicing vegetables or shredding chicken. So here you are, the finished product, in all its glory:

tortilla-soup
since it’s the only photo, you get the big version

Anyway, this was taken slightly before I realized that I have to take turns between chewing and breathing, something I can usually do simultaneously. Not so when you’re a mouth-breather.

My Givadamn’s Busted Tortilla Soup
For When You Have No Fucks to Give

Ingredients

  • 2 boneless skinless chickin titties
  • 1 onion, diced
  • Like, Idk, 4-5 celery stalks, diced
  • 2 cans of rotel tomatoes (diced tomatoes with green chiles)
  • 1 can of sweet corn
  • Salt-n-Pepa
  • A couple dashes of cumin
  • A pinch of chili powder
  • At least 1 lime
  • Oh shit I almost forgot CHICKIN BROTH, a lot of it
  • EITHER: tortilla chips if ur lazy, or fried tortilla strips if ur not. Some guac and sour cream and cheese if u want. I added a little diced chipotle pepper in adobo sauce.
  1. Okay so chop all ur veggies how u want ‘em, and throw ‘em in a pan with a little olive oil to saute until they are tender.
  2. Throw them chickin titties in the pot with them veggies, and add the rotel tomatoes, seasonings, lime juice, and chickin broth.
  3. Bring to boil, then reduce to simmer for at least half an hour. 45 minutes would be better, but basically just keep it simmering until you can easily shred the chickin with a fork.
  4. Add in the corn, and the chipotle pepper if you want it.
  5. Stir and serve with tortilla crunchy bits as you so desire.

*that’s really it. If you wanna stretch it, make rice.

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