Recipes

Q: What is your favorite Pie? A: Pot, of course!

Specifically, chicken pot. Is that how a pastry-based secret agent introduces themselves? “Pie. Chicken Pot Pie.” I swear to god I’m not high I just haven’t been sleeping.

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here we see actual footage of me at work

Anyway, the overarching theme of this post is gonna be the fact that I made the most amazing beef pot pie ever last night, and it was all leftovers. Thursday before last, I made a roast with potatoes and carrots in gravy. Soooo yummy. And then SUNDAY I made a meatloaf with potatoes. Considering the two frozen pie crusts in my freezer, the obvious solution was pot pie.

That said, there is no recipe in this post. Not really, anyway. The roast I always make is this one from Pinterest because there is literally not an easier recipe for a roast. Meat + water + seasoning packets. Low for 8 hours, high for 4-ish (this will probably be tough). I cook mine low and slow, and add the potatoes and carrots 4-5 hours in. They come out so soft and delicious it’s almost criminal.

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note the disgusting, cold lumps of fat

As for meatloaf…well, if you hated meatloaf as a kid, I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with you. I also honestly don’t know how to tell you to make it, other than use about one egg per pound of meat, always use a binding agent (crackers or breadcrumbs or shit), and bake covered for 45 minutes before adding your ketchup/bbq/gravy and baking uncovered for another 15-30.

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You can pack either potatoes or cabbage around the meatloaf, and that’s fucking delicious as well. I did potatoes this time, because I didn’t have any cabbage. I also steamed some broccoli normandy, so don’t sass me about vegetables.

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So I dumped the leftovers into a pot, and I tossed in some corn and peas to make it look more like a pot pie. Whatever. I don’t actually EAT peas, but ~some people~ insist on them.

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Pro tip: stop making pie crusts. It’s not worth it. They only come out right half the time, and kneading and rolling is a pain in the ass. Frozen pie crusts are the tits.

But do remember to defrost them. Set them out on the counter on your lunch break, okay, they’ll be fine till dinner.

But back to the filling: I just dumped all that shit in a pan on the stove and set it to low. When it got soft enough, I used my kitchen scissors (read, regular scissors I use for everything but also wash routinely) to chop up the roast into very fine pieces. And simmered that shit even more. Till it’s all basically brown. Also, added in some thyme and a little rosemary, salt, and pepper.

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I fit all but about a cup of filling into this pie shell. I was really proud of my guestimating abilities.

Then you pop that extra pie crust over the topof the first one, and smash the edges together. Pretty firmly, or you’ll get beef juice (lol gross) everywhere.

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Go back to the top. Pretend I told you to preheat the oven to 350. Or don’t, and just drink a glass of wine while you wait for it to heat up.

Be sure and cut a couple of slits in the top to keep it from exploding. Because it will, all over the inside of your oven. It’s disgusting and then you’ll finish the bottle of wine because you need it to fend of the impending sense of failure, rather than because you want to.

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look how perfectly golden and flaky

I think I ended up cooking this bad boy for like a total of 55 minutes? Basically start with 30 and then check every 5-10 till it’s your desired level of crispiness.

It was fucking delicious.

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