Who the Hell is Lorraine? Quiche Made Easy.

I swear, y’all, it has been the year from hell. We’ve had family drama, and a move, and a job change, and we got a new dog. And I’m sure there’s more but I don’t feel great so I don’t remember right now!






Just so you guys know, I have continued to feed my hubby. We eat at home most of the time and I sometimes (occasionally) remember to take pictures of it.


So Imma try and do a recipe dump on y’all here in the coming weeks so we can get a lil bit caught up, sound good? Good!

So, I’m sure you guys remember several months ago when I posted this recipe for crunchy chicken with bowtie pasta. It was underwhelming, but not terrible. As it turns out, it was way better as a quiche topper than it was by itself.

I know, I know, what kind of monster puts meat on top of a meat pie made with pre-chickens and cheese? This kind. Right here.

mmmm bacon

Pro-tip, don’t buy $2 bacon just because it’s on sale. As it turns out, sometimes the stuff they cure super cheap bacon with can upset your stomach. This stuff ended up tasting like regret. But in the moment, it was so worth it.

Now, if you’ve forgotten to purchase shredded (or even a block of shreddable) cheese, you have to do things like dice it very fine. And then, because you let it get slightly warm, you have to try and separate it out. 2/10, do not recommend even though it technically worked fine.

Folks, if you ever wanna impress a date a seem fancy, I can’t recommend this highly enough. It looks and sounds fancy, and it’s goddamn tasty.


You gotta beat these suckers until they’re completely smooth. Add a lil milk or even some heavy cream if you so desire. Then all you gotta do is pour it over everything in your pie shell and pop it in the oven. I’ll be honest witch’all, Idk how long to bake this for. Probably start it at 30 minutes, and then check it every 10 or so till it’s set in the middle.

And I know what you’re thinking. What kind of neanderthal puts slices of chicken on top of a quiche Lorraine?! Well, this kind, by god. It was honestly better than with the pasta.

And without further ado….

Quiche Lorraine
AKA snooty bacon & egg pie


  • ONE frozenated pie crust. If you make homemade pie crust, good for you. I think, the fuck, not.
  • 1 lb of bacon, diced large
  • ½ an onion. Also diced.
  • Swiss chiss. If you’re smart, you’ll just buy it grated. If not, you have to chop it up and separate out the chunks.
  • Can I get uuuuuhhhhhhhhh 5 or 6 eggs. Just wing it.
  • Salt-n-pepa
  • Lil bit of thyme
  1. Aight y’all, this ain’t hard. And it tastes fancy af.
  2. So first things first you’re gonna dice up that whole pound of bacon into big ass chunks, and drop it either in a skillet or on a tray in the oven at 400 for mmmmm 8-10 minutes. Not crispy, you ain’t want crispy bacon in this it would be ruint.
  3. Next, toss ya bacon (maybe pat a little grease off with a paper towel first), onion, and swiss into your pie shell.
  4. Beat ya eggs like they stole somethin’, and add in that salt-n-pepa good shit, along with the thyme.
  5. Pour that egg goodness over errything in the pie shell, and maybe top with a lil more cheese. Or, if you’re a disgusting savage like me, top it with slices of leftover crispy chicken.
  6. Imma be honest with y’all, I don’t remember how long I baked this. But start with 30 minutes at 350 and check it every 10 minutes till the egg in the middle is set. Use a toothpick to check.
  7. Slice that mufucker and serve.



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